Good friends or more
by puppypants
Summary: McGiva-Ziva surprises Tim with dinner but finds him upset over something she is willing to help him out with.


Ziva took a calming breathe as she glanced at the time knowing he would be arriving home very soon. She still questioned her boldness, doubting if he even did have any feelings for her, its possible she could have just optimistically imagined them. Deep down she had always felt they were both on the same page. Sometimes he would comment on something they were discussing saying exactly what she had been thinking. She could always count on his warm smile, a supportive word when he suspected she was low, a "Are you okay?" or "Do you want to talk about it?" She knew he always had her six, would lay down his life for her with no hesitation. She always noticed the protective, close stance he would initiate in threatening situations.

She ultimately decided that she would not turn back and follow through on her evening's quest for truth.

She aggressively shook the decanter of homemade dressing then opened the oven door breathing in the aroma of chicken parmesan. A key rattled in the front door as she held her breathe with anticipation. She turned waiting for him to enter as she stroked her hair behind her ears. When he came in and turned back towards the door to close it, it was as if he had lead in his shoes; he was sighing with his shoulders slumped his head down. He had obviously not seen her and continued towards his living room as she watched him do a sudden double take. He stepped back a couple steps turning towards her.

"Ziva?" His mouth was slightly parted, his cute, bottom lip poked out, green eyes wide open and head cocked to the side. She saddened when she saw the dark rings under his red-puffy eyes. "I'm sorry...was I suppose to meet-"

Ziva tried to brush him off concealing her disappointment. "No, no, Muh-Gee. I just thought I'd surprise you with a homemade meal...l'm sorry...you look very tired and I'll just go...I'm so sorry; I should have phoned'-" Ziva was waiting for Tim to interrupt her but his expression still hadn't changed and she began to feel foolish. She scooted past him after giving his arms an awkward squeeze then grabbed her coat from the rack near the door.

"The meal should be ready in ten minutes-"

Tim rubbed his eyes with his palms. "Ziva...I'm sorry...I'm just out of it...I...something happen-I mean... I'm so glad to see you even if I don't look it." Tim's hands fell to his sides. "Could you stay? I can't guarantee I'll be the best company but if you're willing to take a chance I'll try my best-"

"No, Muh-Gee. You look tired...like you want to hop right into bed-I mean, by yourself, of course, I mean...I don't want you to feel you have to entertain-"

Tim stepped closer to her gently holding her arm, "Please? Just give me a minute to reboot." he pleaded.

Ziva started to wonder if he might even just need a friend; there was obviously something bothering him and if these weren't her intial intentions she favored the thought of just spending quality time alone with him; talking and comforting him if need be.

"Okay, Tim." she quietly answered. Ziva saw a smile grow from the depths of his sadness that lightened his face and her heart sang. "Why don't you take a shower and dinner will be on the table when you're ready."

"Thanks, Ziva." Tim's energy started to pick up as he dropped his things on the floor on the way to his bedroom. "And there's a bottle of wine in the frige!" He ran back to look at her. "That is if you want some!"

"That sounds wonderful, Muh-Gee. " Ziva returned his smile then rubbed the goosebumps on her arms as his bedroom door slammed.

Tim shuffled into the kitchen in jeans, t-shirt and floppy socks, his hair spiked up and damp. The big, lopsided boyish smile he greeted her with came close to disguising his still tired eyes.

"So...how can I help, Zeev?" Tim rubbed his hands together.

"Oh, it is done. I will just ask you to open the wine if you will." Ziva handed him the corkscrew. "Here you go." Tim's fingers brushed her wrist and Ziva felt an exhilarating zing run up her arm. Tim gave her a smirk as he began to unwrap the cork. The table was already set, Ziva placed the meal on the table.

"I gotta owe it to ya, Zeevs. My apartment never smelled so good."

"Oh, come now. You are a very good cook. Now let's eat." Tim poured them each wine then sat pulling in his chair.

Tim held up his glass, "To good friends."  
Ziva clinked her glass, her throat constricting with disappointment, "To good friends." Her voice came out in a whisper but Tim didn't seem to pay attention. Well, Tim could at times be very...how you say; dense. She would just have to make sure he knew where she was coming from? Yes, she could do that.

Conversation was robust and Tim outwardly perked up but Ziva could hear an occasional tremor in his voice that seemed to be taking a slight effort for him to control. She would catch him rubbing his eyes when he thought she couldn't see him or stifle a face consuming yawn.

They continued with small talk that grew increasingly silly throughout the meal as the bottle of wine quickly diminshed. Ziva went to pour herself another glass but found the bottle empty. She mocked a serious expression by placeing her hand in front of her mouth, gasping, then resolving into a fit of giggles.

"Oh, I do believe we are out-"

"That would explain this warm fuzziness throughout my body." Tim giggled back.

"That's funny...because I was just thinking you looked fuzzy." They laughed, their faces moving closer till their heads bumped.

"Ooops. I am quite sorry for that-I do believe we are garbaged-"

"Huh? Oh! Do you mean trashed? Hammered? Wrecked? Sloshed? Pleassssantly buzzzzed?"  
"That's what I said, disgusting...ing..ingly drunk."

"Well, I'm perfectly fine." Spittle sprayed from Tim's mouth when he said, "fine"as he then tried to discreetly wipe it away with the back of his hand. Ziva swatted his arm.

"Like hell you are."

"Oh, oh. You said h-e-double hockey sticks. Oooo, you're an angry drunk, swearing like a sailor over there." Tim kidded.

"Oh, Tim. I know not of what you speak of; you are obviously very incoherant...and...and...I forgot what I was going to say... bahhhh!"

Ziva's laugh turned into a fit of snorting giggles causing her to lose her balance and topple off her chair onto the floor. Tim gasped with surprise reaching out to grab her hand and pull.

"What's this? My little mosad assassin haz fallen...and she... can't get up?" Tim increased his effort to lift her but Ziva lay there giggling unable to move. "Okay..I'll just have to join you then." Tim sloppily fell to the floor and lay down next to Ziva as they both looked up at his ceiling taking quick glances at each other as Ziva tried in vain to get control of herself.

Tim rolled to his side propping himself on an elbow to look into her face.

"Do you know...you're laugh is one of the most bufital...I mean...beautiful images in the world to me?' Ziva quickly quieted as she blushed looking into Tim's eyes; they were gentle but at the same time bold and sincere. She didn't know what to say so she just placed a hand on his warm cheek slowly rubbing her thumb against it.

McGee's smile dissapated as he looked down studying his carpet. Ziva noticed tears form in his eyes.

"What is it my little Muh-Gee? You do not have to pretend to be happy for me."

"That's just it...I am happy with you...I just...don't feel right about it..." Tim continued to play with his carpet, rubbing his hand through the fibers absentmindedly.

"Did something happen today, Timothy?" Tim answered with a silent nod making no eye contact. "Would you like to talk about it?" Tim shook his head placing his hand on her stomache then rubbing back and forth, the friction warming her belly causing her to blush. Ziva felt his actions were an attempt to distract himself from his current troubles. She could see vulnerability in his eyes, if only she could find a way to help him open up to her more to release his anguish.

"Here." Ziva stood up, lightly holding Tim's wrist then guided him to lay on the couch on his stomache. "I will help you relax, yes?" She straddled his legs then pushed up his shirt to knead his lower back, her eyes widening admiring his smoothe, soft skin, and the fine muscles underneath. "Oh, I think this is a very good idea..." Ziva leaned down whispering in his ear. "you are very tight." She could see his neck breakout in goosebumps once her hair brushed his cheek. Tim's eyes closed while he let out a huge sigh. She pushed his shirt up higher and squeezed the tops of his shoulders appreciating his warmth under her determined hands, her intentions sincere.

"Thank you, Ziva. You're a very good...massagererer."  
"Is that a word, Muh-Gee?"

"It must be because you are a good one." His words were a mumble as the tense muscles in his face relaxed and his breathing deepened. "You're a good friend, Ziva but I would love more...cuz you're sexy...and butiful...I mean beautiful-"  
"Tim?"

Tim's words were barely coherent, as he faught between awareness and sleep while innocently bearing his soul; the exhaustion, sadness and alcohol catching up with him.

"I'm sorry...I seem to be rambling. I spose thats what happens when you shoot someone...and feel sad about it-"  
"Tim?" Ziva stopped abruptly and tightened her grip on his shoulders. "What happened today? Please tell me...you are worrying me."

"I did, Ziva." She could hear his breathe stop in his chest, frozen with dread. "She was just a kid; a mom." His face turned face down in the cushion as he buried his head in the crook of his elbow and began to tremble. She instantly slid off his back to the floor by his side running her hand over the back of his head yearning for his attention and further explanation.

"Tim. Please tell me you were not hurt." She did a quick, frantic search over his body, running her hand over his arms and head.  
"No." His head moved back and forth in the cushion. "I wasn't hurt. But I think that fact makes me hurt more." He quietly cried, "Why'd she have to do that?" She rubbed his bare back with soothing circles and gentle, light fingernails trying to calm him. He quietly sobbed into the cushion until he was exhausted. He let go and fell into a deep sleep his face turning towards her as she wiped away his tears with her thumb. She would never have thought his "rough day" was the result of such a heavy burden he would have to bear for the rest of his life.

She propped her arm on the edge of the couch and continued to soothe him while watching his face, a sweet kind person who wouldn't hurt a fly; he fell into a deep, safe place where he could escape for a short time.

After a while, Ziva placed a blanket over Tim then went into the kitchen to clean up from dinner. She attempted to be quiet but knew Tim was a heavy sleeper so was not too concerned with her occassional clank of a dish or the steady stream of the faucet. Steam rose from the sink as she began the dishes, mesmerizing her, as her mind tumbled with deep, questioning thoughts. Her cell phone chirped to life on the counter near her, she quickly fumbled for it.

"Uhhh, Gibbs?"

"Ziver, I've been trying to get a hold of, McGee, have you seen him?"

"Maybe he has his phone turned off-"

"Nah...not McGee-"

"Well, actually I am at his place now but he is asleep...Gibbs...are you calling because of what happened? He seems pretty upset-"

"Did he mention it to you?"

"Vaguely-"

"He had to shoot a kid, strungout on something...she was robbing the convenience store we were in." There was a long pause but Gibbs continued before Ziva was about to reply. "He had no choice. She had a firearm targeted on the cashier, when I intervened her shot grazed the cashier's shoulder then she focused on me. She just wouldn't stand down...she just lost it and began shooting blindly. McGee saved my life. The store was full of customers."

Are you okay, Gibbs?"

"I'm fine, its McGee I'm worried about. She was a mother to a baby boy, Ziva. She wasn't more than 17. A desparate kid that was apparently lost through the cracks." Gibbs sighed "I left a message on his voicemail, I need to talk to him, he's going to need our support through this. This is too big for anyone to handle on their own."

"Yes, Gibbs."

"Ziver?"

"Yes, Gibbs?"

"Can you stay with him tonight?"

"I will, Gibbs."

Ziva closed the phone placing it back on the counter. She started the coffeemaker, finished the dishes then fixed herself a cup of coffee. She went back to sit in a chair by Tim's side listening to his rhythmic breathing, watching his back rise and fall as her mind drifted; she felt numb.

She soon realized it was possible he would sleep through the night at this point so she went into his bedroom, rustled up some blankets then made an adequate resting spot next to the couch on the floor, but not before stocking a reachable supply of aspirin, water bottles and phones. She kneeled next to him brushing back his hair then lightly kissing his flushed cheek before settling down in the comfort of the blankets. She thought back over the night and admired how he had tried to push away his agony for the night to be with her, trying to conceal his hurt. She knew it would have been especially difficult for him being the kind of person he was; very open and always wearing his heart on his sleeve. She mentally put a halt to her hopes at beginning a relationship, Tim would be going through a tough time and all that mattered right now was helping him through his grief.

She placed a calming hand on her own forehead to stop her anguished, catapulting thoughts then fell instantly to sleep.

_When she opened the door to the small, family-owned market Tim laughed behind her after she had answered his question. She was confused but he gave her a playful shove and continued to chuckle at her quizzical look._

"_Surely, you know that is NOT how you call a cat."_

_"I'll have you know, I know exactly how to call a cat and please, stop calling me, Shirley!" _

_Distant shots rang out but the shots would not cease growing closer and closer, until Ziva wanted to cover her ears; Tim fell but it seemed to take too long for his body to reach the floor until he was non-existent. Gibbs' eyes stared at her from behind the spot Tim was standing but didn't seem to notice Tim fall. Tony was explaining the movie that stirred his memory. She looked down, searching, but Tim was gone. She wanted to help him but she could not see him. She screamed for help but Gibbs ordered his coffee and Tony recited lines. The market floor grew bigger but still no Tim._

_"_**Muh-Gee**_!" _Ziva bolted upright, consumed in darkness, her eyes wide open trying to collect some understanding of her whereabouts.

_"He could have died." _The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. She could have lost him before she even had him. Now she knew just how deep she was in. Without hesitation she climbed in next to McGee on the couch. It was a fairly big couch and she was considered a fairly petite person. They would manage. He mumbled, adjusted his position while he remained asleep. She instantly felt comforted just by being close to him, she enjoyed the tingle sensation growing in her lower belly...would she be able to sleep feeling so excited to be so close to him? She held his hand that rested in front of her, his arm under her and pulled it close to her chest clutching it to her heart. She quickly fell back to sleep.

The room was well lit as she slowly awoke, her eyelids unable to block the strong light. She was on her back and was hesitant to open her eyes relishing the weekend void of her alarm clock. The previous night played out in her thoughts as her hand reached behind her. My! He must have done some clever maneuvering to work his way off the couch without waking her. She opened her eyes to his face, standing above her with a cheery smile.

"You worked your way onto the couch during the night, what a nice surprise to find your face inches from mine this morning...coffee?"

"Why thank you , Muh-Gee." She sat upright, yawning before she took a cautious swallow from her steaming mug. McGee sat next to her leaning back as he stretched with a yawn remaining relaxed against the back of the couch. "Ziva-"  
"Muh-Gee-"

They both smiled at each other then looked down at their coffee mugs.

"Ziva, I want to thank you for your patience last night. I thought I would be able to keep it together-"  
"Muh-Gee. It is fine. Gibbs called and filled me in with the details-"

"He did?" McGee leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees, his expression serious.

"He was worried about you, Tim" She placed a hand on his shoulder as he looked into her eyes trying to read her. "I am, too. I can't imagine how you must have felt afterwards. I have been involved in similiar situations but nothing that...devestating. I am sorry." Tim placed his hand on hers.

Tim stared at the floor for a minute. "Ziva. You really helped me last night by being here. If you weren't here last night I don't know if I would have made it through the night. Thank you."

Ziva's eyes filled with tears. "Muh-Gee. I always want to be there for you. I want it no other way-" McGee leaned in and gently kissed her on the lips as he whispered "Me, too."

Ziva was once told "you can always find good in a bad situation." Now she fully understood from experience.

Review welcome and I do Not own NCIS or any of its characters


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